Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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