It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
