OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
