Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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