forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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