i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my liver is dry heaving
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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