He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
