as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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