youre lurking in front of me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
