wat bout pragnant strippers??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
