I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize