Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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