it was like his penis was on wheels.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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