Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
