How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it glows. i had to have it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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