Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i've created a new STD.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize