My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize