I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize