we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
