Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
