Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize