Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
