you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
