I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
