my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
