hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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