She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just threw up on my dentist
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
