And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I need to sanitize my soul.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
