you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
