He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
