Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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