I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
