I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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