you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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