have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
