Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
