He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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