just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
