he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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