Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
