Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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