i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
