She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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