I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
