Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize