I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I believe in your delicious
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize