planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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