Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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