OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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