just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
