Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
