I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
