he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
