Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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