i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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