I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
